So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
