you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
