ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
