Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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