The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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