3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize