What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
