she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
