last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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