dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
