Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
