am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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