i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You need a sexual gate keeper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
