I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Enjoy the penises
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
