I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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