the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
