I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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