I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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