nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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