all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
