We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
