hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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