Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
