I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
