dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
