So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
