I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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