every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
