We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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