so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
