I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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