We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
