Can Purell be used as lube?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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