mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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