I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
