What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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