You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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