you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
