Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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