it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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