Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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