I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize