im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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