My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
