I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
