i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
