Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You work out of a Hotel?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
