Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just pee around me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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