i think my tv is drunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
