I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Enjoy the penises
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
