can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
