3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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