I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
