Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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