So drunk its hurt
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I party with great urgency now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
