we have officially lost it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
