Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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