Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
