i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
