My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
