Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
