Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
