lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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