TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
