it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just invented taco cereal.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
