During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
