what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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