Ambien. No doubt about it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize