I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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