smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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