She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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