Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
