you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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