glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
