Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It was confusing and full of hummus
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
