Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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