Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize