areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
