i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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