i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
