What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
