she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its liver damage thursday
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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